WORK HERE!!!! They accept submissions on a rolling basis and that is a rare find these days! They also cast virtually which is amazing for actors and accessibility! They are incredible to work for, the production quality is UNREAL (cmon LED light wall!). The creative team is amazing, so smart and truly great folks. Shane is the BEST. The talent brought in is unmatched. The youth theatre here is broadway quality. The costumes lighting and sound are amazing.I would go back in a heartbeat.
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I am writing this, even though I am afraid, because my therapist believes it will help my healing process to write about my experience in the Palace Theatre's youth and professional programs. That being said, I don't even know where to start. The original post says that "The youth theatre here is broadway quality." I would like to tell you why.
I am still working today to undo the damage that was done to me at my most vulnerable ages at the Palace. Instead of a safe environment, where I could learn to fail and grow, I was continuously manipulated and abused by the instructors, specifically Carl Rajotte.
I performed in both the apprentice (PTAC) and teen (PTC) companies at the Palace, as well as behind the scenes on multiple occasions, paid or volunteer. During my years engaged with these programs, my family was giving up hundreds of dollars for the 'high-quality' theatrical education I would receive. This would have been a reasonable tradeoff, if it were at all true.
The name Carl Rajotte, and I say this without an ounce of exaggeration, makes my body begin to panic. My chest gets tight, my heartbeat races, and I often begin to shake. On some occasions, recalling to my friends my experiences, my teeth will start to chatter or I will start to cry. I have been out of these programs for years, and I still have nightmares about him even today. I am not the only one experiencing this, and that is because the entire structure of the youth program is built around giving this man power over impressionable children. As soon as you walked into that building, all signs pointed to him as the man you needed to prove yourself to. He will not be your friend, he will not be your mentor or your sponsor... but he might come close if you can prove that you are an asset to him. Those teens were absolutely prized by the companies; kids who were talented enough to deserve his attention were the only ones who could receive it. From the top down, this caused toxic communities: all of us were pitted against each other for his (a grown man's) affections. There was nothing that I wanted more in those years than any relationship with Carl. These are programs for children aged 7-18.
Everyone, no matter what age you entered in, was groomed by these adult faculty members to accept Carl's word as if it was law and to fight for a spot in his prestigious company. The bullying was awful, and faculty members such as Carl but also Megan Quinn were completely aware of that and did little or nothing to stop it. I was excluded systemically by my peers, and it seemed the only way to win their friendship was to pay more money for more programs and claw my way onto Carl's radar. So that was exactly what I did, and every day I face the consequences of what I put myself through to get there. When I was a sophomore in highschool, I wrote an essay about how Carl Rajotte was my 'Hero Teacher'. The first time I saw Carl after leaving the program, I had a panic attack and had to excuse myself.
I was exposed to the Keto diet at the age of 13 through Palace instructors. I developed an eating disorder during my time as a performer. I would eat one meal a day (dinner) but only if my rehearsals were scheduled in a way where it was convenient. Rehearsals, typically at 6pm, sat right in the middle of when I should have been eating. During busier periods, I would be lucky to have Red Arrow on the way home as my first meal of the day. I looked in the mirror each morning, measured my weight and size, and compared them to Carl's favorites once I got to rehearsal. I refused food periodically throughout highschool.
When I went to college, I gained a significant amount of weight, which sent me emotionally spiraling. For the first time, I was finally in the average for my age and height group.
On multiple occasions, Carl would sit us down to discuss our 'type casts'. These conversations would involve discussion of weight, height, and body shape of minors, as well as what we should do to improve. Clearly, we did not do a good enough job, because Carl employed the 'Broadway Bod' program. This was an alternating program; one week on arms, one on legs, where he would have us each stationed to do an intense workout. We also ran laps around the block in Manchester. He would have us track our reps or times in a journal, which he would call on us at random to read in front of our class. He would ask how we did this week, and how we did last week. If there was not an improvement, the whole class would know how you had failed, and he would express his disappointment in you publicly. These workouts were not modified or of varying difficulty based on age or experience. Equipment was all the same weights (by equipment, I do mean boxes full of Palace merchandise), and everyone was timed the same. One of the workouts I best remember was handstand pushups. I was around 16 years old at the time.
There were strict rules to follow in class. If you yawned, crossed your arms, swore, or said 'I can't', there would be a class-wide punishment of either crunches, situps, pushups... whatever Carl felt best fit. It served as a good way to keep exhausted kids at eachothers' throats, rather than criticizing the faculty. The excuse for all of this was that it would acquaint us to how the 'real, professional' world works
For one semester, Carl required us all to learn a list of French dance terms, as well as their meanings, on our own time. If this was an official, available list, I was not aware of it. All I knew was that there were words I should know, and that I did not know them. He would sit us all down together after strenuous dance practices, and call on someone at random. They would have to spell the word that he picked, as well as correctly perform the move, or the entire group would have to do an exercise punishment. This, I know from experience, did not help with bullying.
It was times like these, these callouts in front of everybody, that would be the only time I would be addressed directly by Carl. We never spoke, there was no 'we', I would listen patiently and hope to God that I could do what he asked of me.
These shows were so physically demanding, I would consistently 'crash' after they were done. I would get sick and be bedridden for a day or two. After one particularly difficult show, I had a double bloody nose on closing night. I was 12. During another show, I missed a period due to the strain. I was 16. It came to a point that I could expect it, like clockwork.
The bullying and exclusion in these programs cannot only be blamed on 'mean kids'. I did not even feel safe enough to come out of the closet here because I feared that it would be used against me. I was so afraid that I was unable to come out until I was well out of PTC. We all had something to gain from putting others down, finding their weak spots and using them to climb the ladder. This behavior was not only rewarded but modeled by the leaders of the youth groups, especially Hunter Ulbin who would gossip openly and viciously about the talents and looks of minors. Carl, Hunter, and Megan did unfathomable damage to young artists and young minds. It was because of my experiences here that I lost the love for performing, that the stage lost its glow before I could even hit the age of 18. I cannot enjoy performance anymore.
Graduates from the youth programs fall into two camps: those who are trying to recover from these experiences, and those who still support the Palace. Friendships rarely cross this line. It is almost cultish, the way some people will ride for the Palace as a company long after the abuse is done. I find this to be a perfect example of the hold these people have on children.
I agree wholeheartedly with the previous reviews regarding these experiences. It is almost shocking to read how similar our experiences were, but if there is anything the Palace did best it was dividing students and snuffing out critics. I do not step foot through their doorstep anymore (especially not to give them more of my money)